|2 minute read|
When I used to do my makeup for dance competitions, I would get so upset that my makeup would crease when I smiled. Caked foundation in the lines beside my mouth plastered to the world how hard I had been smiling. I despised this. No matter how much I primed, prepped, or powdered, the wrinkles set deep in my face. Looking at everyone else, I was envious that their face didn’t crease, the smooth porcelain their skin became. A teenager with an aged face. I’m older now, and my forehead holds the wrinkles of my furrowed brows and my mouth is marked with smile lines. And I’ve realized now that when things are looking down, one glance in the mirror is all I need to remind myself that I once had things that made me smile so hard it creased my skin, and that I shall have more moments like those to come. To wear your experiences, your past, on your face.
And so as simple as it can be, I reflected on things, big and small that make me happy. That brings me so much joy I can’t help but show teeth and grin. A list that brings love to the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh, or the dimples that dot your cheeks. A list that hopefully you can find some happiness in, or perhaps you are inspired to write your own, on a crumpled piece of notebook paper to keep in your pocket for a rainy day.
A collection of the things that make me happy:
Sharing an inside joke with a friend, one so explosive with laughter a quick glance erupts into a fit of giggles.
Opening a new vinyl and hearing the cover crisp across the surface of the record.
When my cat knows it is time for bed and she finds the warmest spot next to me and starts to snore softly, finding solace being close to me.
Talking to my mom for an hour past both of our bed times.
Long walks during sunset, a cool breeze on my cheeks
Waking up, drunk with sleep, without an alarm.
Quiet mornings
Hot cups of coffee
Fresh flowers
Seeing how joyous my grandpa was on his 80th birthday, so gracious that we threw him a party, the love in his eyes as tears threatened to spill over.
Watching old show reruns, remembering my favorite parts.
Opening letters, receiving letters, writing letters
Dancing, moving my bones to explore, to understand, to convey
Long distance friends
New friends
Visiting my moms school and hearing everyone call me “princess”
Hot baths when my skin is tingling and my muscles melt below the water
Days when it is rainy and I can read a book with a cup of tea, unbothered
Long Sunday naps
Hummingbirds
Offering help, feeling needed
Getting a text back from someone whom you were patiently waiting a reply from
Developing the film from a disposable camera, the surprise of seeing the pictures for the first time, recollecting on the moments as if they happened yesterday.
Playing frisbee in the street with the little boy I nanny, sharing laughter, running around like I am a child again.
Going to dinner, catching up with a friend over a glass of sauvignon blanc.
Ice cream after a hard day
A cosmo after a hard week
Lighting candles in the dark
Raspberries in my morning yogurt
Hugging someone when I start to cry
Sharing a kiss with someone you seem to like very much
Bowling with your friend and making each other laugh, not worried what other people might be thinking.
Wine nights over facetime calls, late at night pouring glass after glass, sharing giggles in the dark
Coming home and rambling to my parents the events of my day, excited to share my stories with someone.
Becoming engrossed in a book, finishing it in three days
Mimosas
Word searches
Braiding my hair
Celebrity crushes
A large diet coke from mcdonalds, any time of the day
Live music, especially of the casual kind, on the street corner or in the coffee shop
Recalling past memories, talking to my parents outside during a rainstorm, then a rainbow appeared, or the time we saw Stevie Nicks and stayed out until 3 in the morning
Classic rock
The Sound of Music
Conversing with strangers, sharing an idea with a passerby
Compliments, giving and receiving
Christmas morning
My teddy bear from kindergarten
Silver rings
Baby Pictures
Lipstick
Laughing, when I am so overcome with hysterics, I spend the next minutes wiping away the tears
Love, in all its forms
… and on and on the list can go. Smile hard and smile often. But love the way your skin creases and fold when there is something that makes you smile. Wear your happiness with no shame, your face a museum of all your joy.
you make me happy too,
natalie<3
