There is no such thing as timeless as love, or rather the idea of it. To try and tame it through words, try and express it through the lofty lyrics of a song, or try and discover parts of it for ourselves, jotted down in secret in our notes app. For my favorite way to delve into the complexities of loving is through literature. The tear-stained pages, the choked back sobs, the moments staring at my wall until my vision was blurred, here are my most favorite quotes on love:
Starting with the beloved Normal People, by Sally Rooney, I find myself crawling back to this book time and time again. To capture love in its most simplest form, and to see how love can follow people, chase them whether they know it or not.
“He brought her goodness like a gift and now it belongs to her. Meanwhile his life opens out before him in all directions at once. They’ve done a lot of good for each other. Really, she thinks, really. People can really change one another.” (Rooney, 2018).
To be changed by someone is to be loved. To be held by their perspectives and to let it shift and mold you, a privilege. The most sensitive form of intimacy is that of intellect, seeing into another’s mind, knowing their thoughts as they form. Seeking the headspace of which you can share, together in reflections as one.
Coming from the latest read of mine, Thirst for Salt, Madelaine Lucas twists love around like silk hair in her fingers, swishes it in between her teeth and spits it out like mouthwash. In her contemplations of how to love, what to do with love, and how to love another, we almost learn these things for ourselves. Do we think of love as a skill, sharpened with time, developed through practice? Or is it an ability we all possess? Exposing the underbelly of a deep love, one that is unconventional, and unexpected, shows us that love in all of its forms is exactly the same.
“I was so eager to be loved by him, to be held in his arms and reassured… Climbing on top of him, my hand on his chest, an animal warmth. I bent to kiss him and let the damp ropes of my hair drag across his face, his chest.” (Lucas, 2023).
For we all long to be loved, our most primal desire.
And it isn’t all exquisite all of the time. There is a honeymoon phase for a reason, and I am a strong believer that you don’t really know someone unless you experience something with them. Affection under a microscope, to see someone from every angle, tumble their words in your head, turn them inside out. And after all of that, is there something still to love? Vulnerability in this way is a love language. Exposed always, hiding only from yourself. A chase I remember when reading Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood; To want to swallow them whole.
“No, we weren’t lovers, but in a way we had opened ourselves to each other even more deeply than lovers do. The thought caused me a good deal of grief. What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for-and to do it unconsciously.” (Murakami, 1987).
Is love to hurt?
To be hurt is to still be held by hands that might not love you in the way you want to be loved. Is love a trap or a sanctuary? A cell or an escape? The transaction of passion goes both ways to determine compatibility. How you love depends on who you are loving. In Rosemary Tonks’, The Halt During the Chase, we can see how one can be held so differently.
“Inside her love I could behave badly… and she would not turn away from me, but would wait until I found myself again. Philip had hardened his heart against me in the same way that I hardened my heart against my mother, in case she should become a nuisance in a busy life.” (Tonks, 1972).
Loving is learning. What is it that we want?
But I digress with the serious introspection. Because is not love infatuation? Imagining them with you in every instance you exist. The giggling, the boiling up of flirtation, budding and building until you both explode in kisses. When they are cute and silly because you don’t dissect their beauty quite yet, it’s too playful to be studied. So much affection you can't even look at them, and when you do it's through your cheeks, because your smile smashes your face up close to your eyes. A second away is a second too long. Sally Rooney speaks on this in Beautiful World Where are You, where the backbone of love is the foolishness of it.
“Because we loved each other too much and found each other too interesting.” And I love that about humanity, and in fact it’s the very reason I root for us to survive-because we were so stupid about each other.” (Rooney, 2021).
So we keep loving because it is what we do best. Unconsciously or on purpose we spill our love onto all those who can receive it. It overflows into our world, washes us away with euphoria, a drunken stupor. In love with ourselves, in love with others, in love with the way we chose to exist. Let us not forget that loving is not exclusive to just a few days of the year, but to every moment that our eyes blink or our lungs fill with breath. Our lips upturned we shriek with love! Kiss a stranger! Tell them you like them! Send a letter! Share a shake! Today and everyday we lead with love, no matter what form we experience it in.
until we love again,
natalie <3
